DailyDirt: Cheaters Never Prosper?

from the urls-we-dig-up dept

It’s hard to really know how many cheaters are actually caught taking shortcuts. Generally, people assume that the ones who get caught are representative of all cheaters — but maybe the smart cheaters are never caught… and really do prosper. Here are just a few known cheaters… and not all of them have faced up to any consequences.

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Comments on “DailyDirt: Cheaters Never Prosper?”

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Wally (profile) says:

Cheating....or being cheated on....a personal account of how cheaters never prosper.

I absolutely love my wife. She’s awesome, she’s loyal, faithful, believes in us and our marriage, knows how to approach me when I’m upset, and is the most tactfully honest person I have ever met.

She asked me during the early phases of our relationship what the other girls I had dated before her were like. I had both the standard Junior High relationship and High School relationship. Both ended well knowing we would be better off as friends. It was the girl I met in college I had the most trouble.

I had really a nice relationship with the woman before my wife. She was sweet and kind and had always sucked up to me. Well nearing the end of my relationship, some of my then coworkers told me they had seen her at a local bar with another man. I denied it of course (I was blindly faithful and loyal). So eventually after loosing my virginity to this person, a few weeks later I find she’s pregnant and she tells me “I don’t know who the father is,” which later tests proved I wasn’t (thank God she didn’t put my sir name on the birth certificate because in Ohio, that outweighs the paternity test in child support).

So she ends up with this guy, and has him meet me. Then she apologizes for cheating on me. Now eventually they move in together, have the baby and move out of Ohio to his mother’s house in Pennsylvania where she had an altercation. Turns out he had warrants out for his arrest and a reward was being offered….guess who turned her in. I never heard from her again. Her fate was ending up with her real mother in Whyoming and the last update we got was she was in nursing school. Then another coworker of mine spotted her at our local pizza hut around the same time I met my wife.

She’s been on the move ever since trying to find more sugar daddies than I can count. If there is ever a cheater that never prospered, it was her.

My wife has said on numerous occasion that if that girl ever came around me again, she’d probably kill her for what she had done to me. That’s the only bit of luck that girl from my past has because she hadn’t shown up since I met my wife.

So even in relationships, cheaters never ever prosper.

SujaOfJauhnral (profile) says:

Re: Cheating....or being cheated on....a personal account of how cheaters never prosper.

Stories like yours are why I’ll probably end up a single virgin for the rest of my life. Too afraid someone’s gonna use me and then chuck me off to the side. Had many “friends” like that, I don’t see why a “lover” couldn’t do the same.

Finding a compatible/complimentary person who’s actually into/attracted to you is nearly impossible. Then you have to factor in one that doesn’t cheat!

Wally (profile) says:

Re: Re: Cheating....or being cheated on....a personal account of how cheaters never prosper.

Please do not despair SujaOfJauhnral. In relationships you have to learn out of good and bad in finding that one person you want to spend the rest of your life with. I met my wife through a mutual friend on FaceBook and we just started talking. We both got into the flow of talking and for an entire week we talked on FaceBook’s then very buggy chat system until 4AM. I met her for the first time in person the day before Valentines Day that year. Ack I got side tracked 🙂 darn you 🙂

My point is that you have to go through the good and the bad in order to truly find what you want in your mate for life.

While I cannot give you dating advice I can tell you this. Enjoy the good times and learn from the bad. My case was absolutely worst case scenario and the damage from that was great, so the chances of it happening to you are very slim 🙂 I had huge angry scars from it until my wife came along and restored my faith in relationships. Find out what you like and dislike only makes you closer to your goal.

SujaOfJauhnral (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re: Cheating....or being cheated on....a personal account of how cheaters never prosper.

Oh I know what I want, and I know what I like. I don’t see it anywhere, in many cases in life I’ve had to make what I’ve wanted and liked or stay with nothing. You can’t make people, AFAIK … or I would’ve had my Frakenstein lover ages ago!

Wally (profile) says:

Re: Re: Cheating....or being cheated on....a personal account of how cheaters never prosper.

“Finding a compatible/complimentary person who’s actually into/attracted to you is nearly impossible. Then you have to factor in one that doesn’t cheat!”

See I thought on those terms for a while. It is posdible to find the one who is compatible/complimentary to you, but you also have to be the same towards the person. The other problem I found myself having was I was looking way too hard for it. In my case, my wife and I had quite a few mutual friends where I lived at the time. She made a comment on said mutual friend’s photo that made me laugh so I added her as a friend on Facebook. It was almost a week of those awkward “hi”, “hello”,”how are you” conversations until we really opened up. We ended up talking until 4AM for a month, went on our first date in person, and racked up $350 US cell phone bills (why we both own 4th generation iPod touches to this day).

As for the cheating, NEVER date a dishonets person. if your friends and parents don’t see a change in your attitude around this person, if you don’t get all giddy or heart fluttery, that person isn’t the one. The dishonest desperate ones are more likely to cheat.

SujaOfJauhnral (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re: Cheating....or being cheated on....a personal account of how cheaters never prosper.

It was almost a week of those awkward “hi”, “hello”,”how are you” conversations until we really opened up.

Ah, you see, that’s EXACTLY the problem.

People almost never talk to me. Online or offline. Doesn’t matter if I’m rude, happy, sad, this that whatever.

If they do talk to me it almost never ever gets past hi’s and hellos.

If it ever does get past it, and I begin to tell them a little more about myself they find something they don’t like and call me ‘sick’ and ‘insane’ and just dump me on the spot.

I’m tired of being lead along on stupid ‘hello’ goose chases only to stabbed when I open up to someone. I’m especially tired of being ignored.

How are you supposed to find anything with such bad luck?

RyanNerd (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re:2 Cheating....or being cheated on....a personal account of how cheaters never prosper.

If you don’t mind me asking. What kind of things did you reveal about yourself that would lead someone to call you ‘sick’ or ‘insane’.

My philosophy is live and let live. If someone believes in a religion that teaches that you should drink your own urine to get into heaven that’s fine with me. I could be this persons friend even. Just as long as they do not expect me to join their religion.

SujaOfJauhnral (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re:3 Cheating....or being cheated on....a personal account of how cheaters never prosper.

If you don’t mind me asking. What kind of things did you reveal about yourself that would lead someone to call you ‘sick’ or ‘insane’.

All sorts of things, alternate dimensions, infinite realities, paranormal/spirituality, UFOs. etc You know the standard menagerie of “crazy think”.

The particular one that got a ‘sick’ response was showing a drawing where I tried to portray different aspects of myself as different characters, the full response was something like ‘omg you see yourself as a drawing? that’s sick’. I’ve come to understand it is actually very common for artists to do this. Still, the entire ordeal disgusted me so much I put off showing my art to anyone.

Wally (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re:4 Cheating....or being cheated on....a personal account of how cheaters never prosper.

Ok, you need to keep it subtle and cautious at first and ease the crazy stuff in little by little. My wife had to do that to me with Dr. Who. Never reveal too much of yourself mind wise unless the guy is genuinely interested.

From my wife to you (god i love her):
“The other thing I can see that I can only suggest you do is stay a mystery to him and let him discover you. It’s easy enough to let it all blurt out of you, but you simply have to maintain it. I used to have a history of falling for guys, revealing too much at once, and then they run away. I used this same tactic to attract Wally,” (not my real name) ,”and to ease him into Torchwood, Dr.Who, and a fair few number of chick flicks.”.

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Re:2 Cheating....or being cheated on....a personal account of how cheaters never prosper.

That is not bad luck, that is over sensitivity and maybe a lack of observational capabilities on your part.

Maybe you are in a hurry to meet someone and is your expectations creating that anxiety.

As for the reactions other have well, if you know they get shocked by some things why do you keep forcing that onto others?

There is a place and a time for everything, if you go to a church and start talking about Buddha you probably won’t be well received either, on the other hand if you go to a Buddhist temple you find like minded people there.

You are probably failing to observe and respect the rules of the environment you chose to be in, that is not bad luck, that is a choice you made.

Wally (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re:3 Cheating....or being cheated on....a personal account of how cheaters never prosper.

It is a bit harsh what you said, but I do agree. He is young and has yet to be capable of observing. The best way to observe is to just go with the flow and stop trying to hard to woo her…..note I also courted my wife on her FaceBook wall in the same amount of time we were talking. Use courtship sparingly unless you really know or have observed what she wants.

Wally (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re:5 Cheating....or being cheated on....a personal account of how cheaters never prosper.

My deepest appologies madam, I am man and do told my advice as a man. My advice to you is just be yourself, don’t come in too forward, get to know the guy first. Ask about him to see if he’s cool (my wife did just that), and hang in there you’re a firework.

SujaOfJauhnral (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re:3 Cheating....or being cheated on....a personal account of how cheaters never prosper.

if you know they get shocked by some things why do you keep forcing that onto others?

Nothing is ‘forced’.

You are probably failing to observe and respect the rules of the environment you chose to be in, that is not bad luck, that is a choice you made.

No. I know the rules, they basically file down to don’t be too happy, don’t goof around, don’t try to have a meaningful conversation, don’t expect to be understood, don’t open yourself to anyone, don’t trust anyone, real friends do not exist, lovers don’t exist, don’t show anything you make, don’t expect to be acknowledged, don’t even bother period. Unless you’re bored and have nothing else to do.

SujaOfJauhnral (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re:3 Cheating....or being cheated on....a personal account of how cheaters never prosper.

There is a place and a time for everything, if you go to a church and start talking about Buddha you probably won’t be well received either, on the other hand if you go to a Buddhist temple you find like minded people there.

Aye. That’s another thing. I don’t really know where to *look* for like minded people. I’m more likely to believe in Santa Claus at this point.

Wally (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re:2 Cheating....or being cheated on....a personal account of how cheaters never prosper.

If you can’t get beyond awkward hi and hello then maybe it’s a compatibility thing. One of the things I noticed my wife and indoing was keeping rather mysterious between each other. We were really cautious and found a lot in common with our personalities.

Aside from that, maybe you’re trying to hard to impress the girl instead of getting to know her. I found my problem to be just that. It’s not about just liking each other either. There are things my wife does that absolutely drive me insane, but I still love her to death. So you cannot just skip out due to annoying little habits. The best way is just let it grow slowly into a relationship, but keep it mysterious enough that you don’t get friend zoned.

My other advice to you is that you never should date anyone who knows you well. In the same coin however, you shouldn’t be searching out a complete and utter stranger.

The ballence should be that both of you have a lot of mutual friends, but at the same time, you don’t know each other. This allows for you two to establish a friendship (or as in my case, a courtship).

Like I said, it’s a gamble. You have to take the good with the bad, and run with it. Never date a complete stranger and someone who knows you well. Stop putting effort in looking for a while friend, you’re young, enjoy life while you can 🙂

SujaOfJauhnral (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re:3 Cheating....or being cheated on....a personal account of how cheaters never prosper.

maybe you’re trying to hard to impress the girl instead of getting to know her

…I’m girl looking for a guy.

I have tried to get to know people, but it’s either not mutual and/or too risky due to the other problem I mentioned.

The ballence should be that both of you have a lot of mutual friends, but at the same time, you don’t know each other.

Well, I don’t have friends so good luck with that. Yes, not even 1. Dead serious.

Franco says:

Pladgiarism

I gave my study buddy my rough draft of my paper to help guide her and insite on what essay and what her paper should look like. I aced CompI,II,and advanced writting wher she has had none yet. I did not say copy my paper, plagiaris it you have my permission. I had no idea she just changed my name. Until the teacher threw us out of class. 7 days of work,long hrs and I never been in this situation.

What to do and needless to say she is no long my study buddie or friend.

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