ABRAHAM Lincoln may have been born in a one-room log cabin in Nolin Creek in Kentucky, but now lives in the White House — again.

That may sound strange considering that Lincoln was shot by an assassin on April 14, 1865, and died on the morning of April 15. But after a lengthy visit to the Executive Mansion, the Weekly World News White House correspondent has confirmed that the ghost of our beloved 16th President regularly meets with the current Democrats, and even the previous Republican leadership.

“I’ve seen him,” admits CR, a former high-ranking White House official who now works at the state department. “He’s ashy gray and you can sort of see through him, like smoke. He’s tall, 6-foot-4 without that stovepipe hat. And that’s when he’s walking. Sometimes he floats like an angel or he does a kind of breast stroke near the ceiling.

“For 140 years he only haunted the area around the bedroom that was named after him,” our deep throat went on. “But now that’s changed — big time.”

CR tells us that once the economic war began Lincoln’s ghost wasn’t satisfied with simply drifting in the halls or walking through walls of the private residence and scaring housekeepers. More recently he has been seen coming and going in the Oval Office, sharing his own experiences as a wartime President.

“I’ve heard him,” says an intern who spoke on condition of anonymity. “Last year, he gave Dick Cheney another mild heart attack and put him in a wheel chair. They say it was because he was lifting boxes, but we all know better.”

“The first time he appeared, last August, he materialized behind President Bush during a meeting with the Vice-President and the Joint Chiefs of Staff last October. Mr. Lincoln stood there with one hand on his lapel and another hand on Bush’s shoulder. Since then he has attended every high-level meeting about the economic crisis.”

Code-named ‘Stealth Abe,’ he started with single words, like “no” and “don’t.” Now he’s moved on to phrases, even whole sentences like, “There’s a better way” or “No good will come of this” or “A battalion divided against itself cannot stand.”

But is the late President’s message getting though? “Oh yes,” said a banker who was at one of the meetings at the White House. “This is the rail splitter. He used to break logs for a living.

Sometimes Mr. Lincoln shows up with an ax. He threatened to whack anyone who gave him ‘sass.’ That gave the Veep a second to think about that.

“I assure you, when Mr. Lincoln speaks, The President listens,” Nancy Pelosi revealed. She laughed, “Bush didn’t even mind when Stealth Abe misunderstood and called him ‘Dummy.’ It’s taken a while but the former President has begun to understand all the modern names and words that didn’t exist in the 19th century. He was very offended the first time someone said a fourletter word in a meeting. He told us he didn’t take that from General Grant and he wouldn’t tolerate it from us.”

In the months since the general election Lincoln’s advice has begun ranging from the economic war to a domestic agenda.

“If there’s one thing the former President had plenty of experience with, it’s a nation torn by war,” stresses the general. “Like any great leader he obviously wants to share the breadth of his experience to help the country he held together and loved so much.” CR tells Blogtime, that while Mr. Lincoln’s visits have been a surprise, the Great Emancipator has also received a few shocks.

“He didn’t realize his birthday is a national holiday and doesn’t mind sharing it with George Washington,” CR says. “He also didn’t know he had a ‘Memorial.’ President Obama sent him out to see it in a limousine. Stealth Abe was very moved. He was also a little scared, since he’d never seen a car, either.”

When asked what the late President sounded like, Pelosi replied: “Well, he sounds like Lincoln. He sounds like you’d think Lincoln would sound after he’s been dead for more than a century. It’s a soft voice, kind of gravelly. But it’s not how he sounds that matters. What’s important is what he’s saying about the economic crisis: that slavery is bad and freedom is good.”