Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt

Techdirt

from the the-talk-in-town dept

This week, both our winners on the insightful side are anonymous commenters on our post about dismantling the police. In first place, it’s some thoughts on where to start:

… the most basic rebuilding component is simply to hold all LEO’s accountable to very same laws imposed on all other Americans.

No immunity, no special treatment if suspected of criminal or civil infractions.
No sweetheart treatment by government investigators, prosecutors, and judges.

No power of arrest without a judicial warrant, unless the LEO directly observes the crime. No immunity for false arrests.

Police must de-militarize and obey same firearms laws as imposed on other citizens.

Sharply reduced pay & benefits, more equivalent to U.S. miltary service ranks.

In second place, it’s a response to the cruel notion that running from the cops means you deserve to be shot:

Running never makes someone deserve to be shot. That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life. Running means you fear that you might get hurt or killed by an overly aggressive cop. By saying that they deserve to be shot for not following the commands of the officer, you are saying that officer now is God and anything they command that is not obeyed, means death. You are not judge, jury, and executioner. If you think otherwise, you need to check into a mental institution. If your local law enforcement says that is okay, they also need to be removed from society, one way or another.

For editor’s choice on the insightful side, we start out with another anonymous comment expanding that last reply to the many other situations that get people murdered by cops:

Running away does not endanger lives, and so shooting them is murder. Standing in your own house is not threatening, pointing out that you have a license to carry is not threatening, being in a house that is raided by a swat team, who have the wrong address… so all those shot were running away from a crime scene, but were rather victims of trigger happy cops.

Next, it’s That One Guy analogizing the folks who complain about tech platform bias… on tech platforms:

‘They won’t let me use their soapbox’ said the person on it

It’s like watching someone screaming about how a privately owned park won’t let them speak while standing in that very park. If they really are being ‘persecuted’ by social media then the companies involved are doing a terrible job of it.

Over on the funny side, our first place winner is Tim R walking through his reaction to our post about Robert F. Kennedy Jr’s lawsuit against Facebook:

I have to admit that reading this exquisite blockbuster of a pleading was a multi-act comedy in my head. Especially when it came to the claims:

The first claim is that there are 1st and 5th Amendment violations… by the private company defendants…

Sigh.

The second claim is… Lanham Act violations…

Where’s my cocktail?

Kennedy then cites the President’s nonsense Executive Order on social media…

Swell, Junior, why don’t you just throw effing RICO into the mix, too???

Next up, Kennedy argues (you guessed it) RICO violations…

God dammit.

In second place, we remain on that post, where an anonymous commenter opened the discussion by describing the lawsuit filing as “running in ever decreasing circles until it disappears up its own arsehole”, leading That One Guy to raise his hand:

Objection, comment posits that the complaint didn’t start there.

For editor’s choice on the funny side, since that post naturally spurred lots of jokes about conspiracy theories, we’ll remain there for a pair of similar parodies. First, it’s an anonymous concern:

The issue is he’s using the much cheaper aluminum foil instead of tin foil. And he’s using it improperly and has allowed the aluminum to get into his bloodstream, causing aluminum encephalopathy with a dementia syndrome.

Hmm. Said that tongue in cheek, but it does track rather well with the activities of many tin foil hat idiots. Perhaps a study should be made.

Finally, it’s Bobvious bringing up the true menace (with an excellent punchline):

You do realise that 5G will distort the shape of the Earth and it will no longer be flat, right? Those towers are going to be strung together with super cables and winches to pull it out of shape. That’s why they need to put so many of them up, and so close together. It has nothing to do with the alleged inability to penetrate walls.

It’s all a globalisation conspiracy.

That’s all for this week, folks!